Minor blip in my plans....

Around 9 month ago after years of physio & determination, I thought I had finally conquered my disability, getting to full health & be stick free once & for all. Even getting on well with cycling & long rides with no issues after.

Well 3 weeks ago that all went to pot when my knee decided to go on me again after nearly 2 yrs of physio to sort it. It went so much so I was in agony & had to make a visit to the A&E where I eventually came back out on crutches & strong painkillers.

So for the first time in a long time I felt somethings I haven't felt in nearly 2 decades when my leg first went bad, disappointment & despair. It didn't help that the painkillers were making the mind all fuzzy & for the first time since I moved to Essex I wished I was back at Farnham, but not for what you might think. It was the flat I am thinking of, being on ground floor & having a garden is what I am missing at the moment. So I can relax & feel OK with it all as the cats would've had freedom to go in the garden & some where I can recuperate. Now there's nothing wrong with my current flat or it's location. Its the fact its in need of decorating & no garden I can easily get to as I'm on the 1st floor.

After 2 weeks, I finally came off the painkillers & crutches but still using the stick. Seen the GP to get a referral to a specialist as obviously the physio isn't working. And my brain is trying to adjust back to how I was years ago & I'm having issues with this, basically I am getting sick & tired with all this. I just want to get on with how I was doing before the knee went again, I aint as young to re-adjust again like I was 20yrs ago & really need to get this knee sorted.

At the moment I am feeling I wish I never had the damn operation to get me stick free as now going back on them is doing my head in & feel like I've been cruelly teased with a stick free life right now as I am back to how I was almost a decade ago & not know just yet when I be stick free again if at all.

So out of this I do feel I need to focus more on certain things, like everyone else we all have this where we have so many things going around in our heads & sometimes it's too much & need to re-evaluate & decide what is important right now. For me I need to sort my leg, a job & generally get my life back on track. The rest will have to wait or give way to what is more important.

So for now, just watch this space as I dunno how the next few weeks, months or years will pan out. I am hoping to try a short gentle cycle ride in a week or so time to test the waters to see if knee can cope. Then go from there, but most of all try not get stressed as I know that never helps the recovery.

Leg Update

As many already know, January 2008 I had an operation on my leg that will change my life forever. And over the past year I've been doing physio & excersises at home to rebuild my leg muscles & strength all round as well as trying to walk again.

Well after 12 months of hard work & loads of support from my darling Jules with her magic hands massaging my aches away as well as family helping out with things I couldnt do. I'm practically there! I was hoping all to be done by December 2008, but it proved to have been an more invasive operation, so for the 1st few months is was no more than dead weight i dragged around whilst on crutches.

2008 has definately been a turning point in my life, its been hard & well worth it. For now I am trying to go to the Gym to work on improving my leg strength, improving my balance. Hobling around the flat, almost walking without the stick & trying to get a bicycle for when I'm ready.

So whats next? Well I am going to look at going back to work after some retraining curtesy of the Job Center in a month or 2. My flat is on the net to try swap it with someone who wants to move to Surrey from Essex so I can live closer to my beloved (hoping it dont take to long). As well as getting the flat finished painted (doing kitchen atm) so it looks all nice for the swap! Cycle alot more often than I did 18 yrs ago! You dont appreciate things as much until you loose it, now I'm getting my legs back I sure want to make the most of it!!

So here's to 2009, where the changes keep on coming! And thankyou all for your encouragements & especially to Jules, she's had to put up with the most of it!! Love her so much!!!! xxxxx