An explanation as to why I do the job I'm in, despite my disability.

Over the years & again over past few days since Friday's social media posts on my disability, I've been asked why I do the job I'm in & how can I do the job or how can I spend all day on the tills & why don't I find a better job.

When I got my job after such a long time out of work, I was more able to walk better & in fact my disability wasn't as bad & even for a short while I could walk stick free, cycle for miles with no pedal assist & even worked almost full time & worked in various roles with minimum restrictions due to disability. And I even lost weight & really felt good within myself. 

But alas it was short-lived, from 2015/6 my disability changed & slowly started degrading, so of course did my hours in my job & ability to work. And back in 2019 my disability was at its worse as I was about to have the spinal cord operation & lengthy recovery that took longer thanks to the pandemic preventing the support I needed. 

So, when I did eventually return to work, it wasn't easy & honestly I made it clear I'd rather be out of a job than make my disability worse. Something I'd rather not do as last time I was out of work due to disability & bone cyst in my left femur, I was out of work for near on 10yrs thanks to discriminative behaviour of companies & zero support from the government. Thankfully my employers listened & made the changes. 

And for past 3+yrs it's been alright working despite a few hiccups not relating to the disability but affected it. Lately tho with the much-needed move to a ground floor flat & recent unexpected changes at work, the disability hasn't liked it. When it's one thing, I could just cope with the disability but being both I can't & I'm doing all I can to stop my disability from getting as bad as 2019.

As for mentions of I should find another job, easier said than done I'm afraid. Ask anyone with a disability, it's never easy & was a miracle I got the job I'm in now. I have loads of knowledge I can use but no suitable qualifications or recent experience to get a job suitable for my disability. I know coz I had tried back in 2018/9. And I do not want to be back out of work as likely be out of work until I'm at retirement age. 

At same time I am my own worst enemy, I don't like seeking help & like to do things myself. It's not a flaw, it's just how I am after 30+yrs with a disability. It's how I push myself too, to get thru life & not give up & let the disability take over every part of my life. This means others easily forget I do need support, even if I don't ask & eventually had to remind others of this on Friday & to be honest, they do listen. But there's things that are out of people's control at work & is being dealt with & they know if no improvements will make things worse for me & they do understand. It just takes time to sort out & hopefully my disability will be OK by then. 

Yes, I would love a job more suitable for my disability that I could work full time & get off financial support from benefits. But I have not seen or heard of this ideal job. It may never exist but for now the job I'm in is a good job, I may grumble about it from time to time but as I've said before 'I wouldn't be in a job I didn't like' as I proved before many, many years ago. 

That's it really, hope you now have a better understanding why I'm in the job I'm in. It's not perfect but far better than the alternative options right now.